ABOUT THE CREATOR
In my past, I have sat at my desk, or alternative, many times having decided I needed to do something and, through varying reasons, I simply did not do them, and as I’m not doing them, throughout the day, I would increasingly feel like crap.
I would have thoughts like, “I’m not using my time wisely,” and, “I’m a failure.” Eventually, I would end up in a semi-fetal position on my bed, playing a game or watching a movie. I was very critical of myself. This was a learned behavior. There was not really anything I did, short of a measure of the equivalent of 100% that was really good enough.
So, I spent the majority of my life with either the label of being successful (by reaching my goals) or the label of procrastinating. It boiled down to the thoughts of, “If I reach my goals, I am successful and I’m a winner. If I do not reach my goals, I am procrastinating and I’m a loser.” Wow, pretty harsh! Right? Have you ever felt like this?
This kind of head talk was horrible and not useful. Once the initial thoughts started, it was a whirlwind of negativity.
Sure, sometimes in my life I need to focus and have a little fire under my butt, but not all the time, and not every single day.
Understanding there is a balance of accomplishing the things that matter and feeling like I have enough down time was a challenge at first, and even more than understanding this, was finding what would work for me and how to incorporate it.
I studied a lot, and I have several degrees. When I first started on this journey of living outside of the mainstream, I was an engineer and although I had a good-paying position, secretly, I was in a circle of unhappiness with work, love and my life in general.
I spent MANY hours on the computer looking up jobs to do from home, best jobs from home, work from home, legit work from home jobs… etc., the list goes on and on. I was searching for some sort of relief in, at least, one of those areas, so why not start with a change in my career.
After many years of living unhappily, I became very sick, and hospitalized. I was asked one day, shortly after, by a new acquaintance, “What would you tell your younger self, knowing what you know now?”
After a few seconds of thought, I said I would say, “Don’t worry about the tests, completing two master degrees at the same time, the promotions, the raises, the getting up in the morning, the traffic! Just do whatever you want to do. Figure out what that is, and just do that.”
I decided while in recovery that, “This is it – the way I was and the way I lived my life before is over. I don’t know what I will do next, but I’m not doing this anymore.”
Luckily, through my MANY late nights of looking up alternative ways to make money, I had some ideas of how to accomplish something no one around me had ever done.
WHY CREATE THIS WORLD?
To share my accomplishment with those who will receive it. There are people in the world who are similar to me and are experiencing, in this very moment, what I used to experience, maybe this is how you found this site.
I’ve learned that procrastination for me does not mean I am a loser, or that I suck. For me, it means that what I’m doing is either something I don’t want to do and I or someone else has said it should be done, or I’ve decided it’s outside of my range of comfort.
These two categories are important, in my opinion. The first category means that the task’s importance is in question and I can re-evaluate it and assign a new priority or remove it from the list all together. The second category means that if I succeed in accomplishing this goal, my life would be different.
When I started out, while I was working like everyone else, I was considered, by some, to sometimes be a dreamer, a procrastinator, just a little different from everyone else, and color within the lines kind of person. My boyfriend, at the time, told me that he thought the amount of time I spent on the computer or watching movies (in his presence, because outside of his presence was even more) was to escape.
In a way, he was right. I wanted to escape from him, my job and my life in general. I think, for me, analyzing the essence of my procrastination helped me to recognize I wasn’t happy and to turn the procrastinating activities into vehicles to change my life.
If I never procrastinated, my life would not have changed. I know it sounds crazy to some people and makes you kind of look at the screen like, “Huh?!” And, this is my truth.
Due to there being aspects of my life I wanted to change, and due to the emotional response I had to my personal judgements about procrastinating, my brain was prompted to work on ways to change it.
I really wanted my life to be easier. I didn’t want to get up to fight through traffic to get to a job where I didn’t feel appreciated and where I felt I had outgrown. I didn’t want to only take 20 days of vacation a year (excluding national holidays).
I love living my life how I want to live it, varying what I do on any given day, and I am sharing my experience in the hopes it will help someone else, like me, do the same.
You having made it to this section of the reading (without any pictures mind you), and reading the other parts of this site could mean you are also on your way to making your life different.
Does what I’ve said sound crazy or great? If it sounds crazy you might want to go to another site. If it sounds great, excellent!
To give you access to the training and tools that will help you live outside of the mainstream income stream.
If you have any questions, ask me.
All the best,
TeamofOne Procrastination Affiliate